True Story v. Last Weekend

[Spider Monkey]

So I was out in the front yard workin on shit, specifically spraying weeds that were growing up in the cement cracks of my RV pad, and the neighbor came home. I'd never seen this particular neighbor before so I didn't know what to expect. As I spray, I hear this "hello" is a soft voice behind me. Naturally, I ignore it due to my general dislike for people, but I decided to turn around because it sounded female.

I turn around and say hey. She points to a dead bush on her side of the property line and tells me that I can get rid of it if I wanted to, in a joking manner.

The whole time all I'm thinking is how fucking smoking hot this chick is. My response was 'Oh, I'll get to it" as though it was on my list of to-do's. She turns and walks inside.

When I got inside I realized that all I said was that I'll get to it, to this smoking hot broad that lives next door.

:fu:

I swear to god if it is the last thing I do, this chick will be nekkid in my pool this summer.


FML

[wasted ink]

Pics? :monkey:

[Rashaddd]

pics

[Porch Monkey]

Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML

[Spider Monkey]

Pics? :monkey:

pics
I'll work on that just for you guys.


Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML

My story was true. :P

[Porch Monkey]

So was mine.

[Spider Monkey]

So was mine.

But mine happened to me. Yours did not happen to you.

[Pop Da Hatch]

NICE. bikini shots are a must.

[Spider Monkey]

Bikini shots don't happen in nekkid pix.

[Rashaddd]

thanks, means alot to me

[Porch Monkey]

fixed OP's post

[wasted ink]

thanks, means alot to me

X2

[Spider Monkey]

LMFAO.. Keep your ass out of my poasts!

[Pop Da Hatch]

A/S/L, describe neighbor............

[Spider Monkey]

mid to late twenties, female, next door.

[Jamesypoo]

mid to late twenties, female, next door.

Hrm. Maybe I could settle for $30k for a year.

[Spider Monkey]

Hrm. Maybe I could settle for $30k for a year.

That was just starting wages. ;)

[97gp]

Show her your projector

[Spider Monkey]

Ballin idea 97. I still have to get it out of the box though. Will happen this week.

[Porch Monkey]

Didn't you say that last weekend?

[97gp]

Word yo, im sure it will happen sooner or later.

[Pop Da Hatch]

jeez get your ass over there.

[Porch Monkey]

jeez get your ass over there.
I don't think he can project his ass that far away.

[Spider Monkey]

Didn't you say that last weekend?

Probably. :laugh:

[Spider Monkey]

jeez get your ass over there.

Over whur?

[IamDeMan]

Your story sux.

[Porch Monkey]

I thought the FML part was grand.

[97gp]

The story had me on the edge of my seat the whole time, your crazy.

[Spider Monkey]

Your story sux.

Most true stories are not epic.

[IDSkot]

Bikini shots don't happen in nekkid pix.

x2

:bj:

Do it!

[Jamesypoo]

I was at work today and I poked this girl in the ass while she was bending over. I normally do it... but I guess I accidentally did it to her vagina. Truth.

[IDSkot]

I was at work today and I poked this girl in the ass while she was bending over. I normally do it... but I guess I accidentally did it to her vagina. Truth.

Did she mount you like a lion?

[Pop Da Hatch]

I iz gonna drink 24 beers.

[Spider Monkey]

I was at work today and I poked this girl in the ass while she was bending over. I normally do it... but I guess I accidentally did it to her vagina. Truth.

Whao. You're story has a much better ending than mine.

[97gp]

I was at work today and I poked this girl in the ass while she was bending over. I normally do it... but I guess I accidentally did it to her vagina. Truth.

An den?

[Porch Monkey]

FML

[Jamesypoo]

Did she mount you like a lion?

An den?

She said, "Whoooooasdofjasdf"

I knew what I did right when it happened. I was much more embarrassed than I should've been. She didn't seem to mind.

[97gp]

So are you going to poke her in the vagina again?

[Jamesypoo]

Heh. She's slept in my bed multiple times, but we've never boned.

[Spider Monkey]

I'm starting to feel better about my situation.

[natisfynest]

i has no stories like that FMMFL

[Jamesypoo]

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1959/44/71/6827612/n6827612_48586181_9817.jpg

[natisfynest]

noodz or ban

[IamDeMan]

Most true stories are not epic.

fact

[Spider Monkey]

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1959/44/71/6827612/n6827612_48586181_9817.jpg

Holy shit your hair grows fast.

[Jamesypoo]

Heh.

[Spider Monkey]

Getting warmer

[natisfynest]

she belongs in my bluetooth thread

[Jamesypoo]

That pic was a couple months ago. I'm more interested in SM's neighbor.

[Spider Monkey]

That pic was a couple months ago. I'm more interested in SM's neighbor.

She has black hair with a huge red stripe down one side.

[Spider Monkey]

Oh, and she has the secret hair too. FTMFW!

[Jamesypoo]

wat?

[Spider Monkey]

Secret hair yo.

[natisfynest]

twat?

[tappin_azz]

a wig? a weave? extensions?

[Jamesypoo]

http://www.deodorantall.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/antiperspirant_deodorant22.jpg




+




http://i6.tinypic.com/1z48zmu.jpg





=





ew?

[Spider Monkey]

a wig? a weave? extensions?

Naw my nga. THE hair. The hair style that has secret special powers over me. THE hair. It does me. Lemme see if I can find it online.

[Spider Monkey]

http://www.deodorantall.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/antiperspirant_deodorant22.jpg




+




http://i6.tinypic.com/1z48zmu.jpg





=





ew?

EWE NO

[Jamesypoo]

nap. be back latro for secret hairs.

[Spider Monkey]

http://www.mysedu.com/images/sedu-hair-styles-8_jpg.jpg
Kinda like dat shit, but longer on one side than it is on the other. It tapers in the back, and it doesn't cover the face.

Shit makes me wanna do work son.

[hoss]

In for pics.

[Spider Monkey]

Snap son. It shall now happen.

[joetama]

Pics for pics son.

[Spider Monkey]

Do0d, You already has yours. I have to get mine and I've only seen this whore once in 3 months. I wonder if she is married.

[joetama]

Hmmm... My pictures would be a total disappointment anyway.

[natisfynest]

to bad ya'll missed the ninja edit from james

[joetama]

What edit?

[Spider Monkey]

The fuck you two talking about.

[natisfynest]

joo missed the edit??? of teh pirate girl bent over???

[Spider Monkey]

pirate girl? He edited it out?

[Spider Monkey]

I see that he did remove it. I sawd it though. The other pic of her is still there.

[natisfynest]

yup right where it says heh

[joetama]

Damn... I missed it for real.

[natisfynest]

i too seen it and i clicked outta the thread and was like hold on i need to save that clicked back in and it was gone that fast hes a super ninja

[joetama]

REPOST IT!

See I don't really even care what it was, but I'm curious.

[Uncle Rico]

This thread is filled with the lolz

[Spider Monkey]

Post yours and he will post his

[Spider Monkey]

This thread is filled with the lolz

Suprised me. I thought it was going to drop like a rock,

[natisfynest]

i think we need a post noodz of yourself thread :fyi:

[joetama]

I'm in. LAWL

[Spider Monkey]

Uh, get some womens in this forum before you even consider saying that.

[Spider Monkey]

Faggot

[natisfynest]

i dont even know how i got in this thread i was fapping in the post pics of yourself thread lulz

[joetama]

Good luck with that... For some reason we always run off the womenz.

[IamDeMan]

WTF he gave the newbs black names and me pink. Fuck this damn admin already.

[Spider Monkey]

Good luck with that... For some reason we always run off the womenz.

This is a new world over here.

[Spider Monkey]

You nerds and your audios talk won't scare them away this time.

[natisfynest]

omg a girl where???

[joetama]

This is a new world over here.

True story. BUt I was under the impression that this site was kind of private.

omg a girl where???

:fuck:

[Spider Monkey]

True story. BUt I was under the impression that this site was kind of private.




You has PM

[Jamesypoo]

I was wondering if anyone saw'd it. She is coming over after work :confused:

[Jamesypoo]

I don't know why

[Uncle Rico]

i think we need a post noodz of yourself thread :fyi:

I'm in if anyone wants to see my penis.

[Jamesypoo]

Bluetooth thread?

[natisfynest]

Bluetooth thread?


yes cuz they come from the same place as pirates from my understanding

[Jamesypoo]

oh

[Spider Monkey]

Why don't you poke her for realz?

[Jamesypoo]

She dates 6'5" college basketball players a bit blacker then myself.

[Spider Monkey]

Ahhh one of those.

[Jamesypoo]

mhm

[Uncle Rico]

Ahhh one of those.

Should I give you my cousins phone number to give to her.

He's 6'6

[Uncle Rico]

And can throw it off the backboard.

[Uncle Rico]

A la vince carter.

[joetama]

Jame's posts are distracting. That avatar hurts my brain.

[Jamesypoo]

Should I give you my cousins phone number to give to her.

He's 6'6
Ninja edit :(
Jame's posts are distracting. That avatar hurts my brain.

My avatar stimulates brain function

[Pop Da Hatch]

piihb.

[Uncle Rico]

Ninja edit :(


My avatar stimulates brain function

Why edit?

[Uncle Rico]

Tell me how you feel nga.

[Spider Monkey]

Should I give you my cousins phone number to give to her.

He's 6'6

No. Because I Don't know her.

[Uncle Rico]

Wat?

[Uncle Rico]

I was talking to jamesey.

[Spider Monkey]

Wat?

read what you said to me.

[Spider Monkey]

Then why did you quote me?

[Jamesypoo]

Why edit?

Didn't you edit that? Pretty sure you did.




Anyways, we're just friends who put things in each other's asses. She isn't my type. I prefer dark skinned girls, dark hair, dark eyes, mmmm.... :drool:

[Jamesypoo]

OH, but the girl I stayed with in Arizona is coming up tomorrow :D

[Spider Monkey]

Didn't you edit that? Pretty sure you did.




Anyways, we're just friends who put things in each other's asses. She isn't my type. I prefer dark skinned girls, dark hair, dark eyes, mmmm.... :drool:

I have learned this much about you.

[Jamesypoo]

Heh

[Uncle Rico]

Then why did you quote me?

No idea honestly.

Didn't you edit that? Pretty sure you did.




Anyways, we're just friends who put things in each other's asses. She isn't my type. I prefer dark skinned girls, dark hair, dark eyes, mmmm.... :drool:

Dont think I edited. But I concur.

[Uncle Rico]

I couldve. I'm a edit machine. I don't like misspelling things.

[Jamesypoo]

You replaced me with your cousin. Peace, gots ta put somem clothes on

[Uncle Rico]

Oh I remember now. My original post was going to be about me being 6'1 but sadly I dont play basketball. So i wanted to spread the love to a family member since I couldn't get a snow bunny.

[Pop Da Hatch]

jamesypoo likes the kink.

[Jamesypoo]

She came over and we watched a movie in my bed. She just left. Weird. Anyways, I'm off to the bars. Keep it crunk.

[Jamesypoo]

We did not bone :fyi:

[Jamesypoo]

I wonder if she thinks I'm gay.

[Unfortunate]

put it in her butt.

[Rashaddd]

something is definitely wrong with that situation :fyi:

[Pop Da Hatch]

You have failed me.

[Porch Monkey]

http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1959/44/71/6827612/n6827612_48586181_9817.jpg
You look OLD in that pic. Sorta like Josh Brolin.

[bluecar]

You look OLD in that pic. Sorta like Josh Brolin.

Indeed...like in his 40s or some shit.

[Pop Da Hatch]

He iz get teh ladies.

[Jamesypoo]

She straightened my hair that day. It is gay as hell.. I knows. Here is a much more recent picture. I look teh youngs.

http://photos-a.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-snc1/v2335/165/34/21104976/n21104976_32480688_5367.jpg

[Porch Monkey]

If you straighten your hair back out you may be able to get some AARP benefits.

[natisfynest]

I wonder if she thinks I'm gay.

lol i wonder why she thinks your a feg (see below)

She straightened my hair that day. It is gay as hell.. I knows. Here is a much more recent picture. I look teh youngs.

[Jamesypoo]

I was fingering her vagina while she straightened my hair.

[Jamesypoo]

That was a lie.

[Spider Monkey]

We could tell.

[Jamesypoo]

So... pics?

[Spider Monkey]

Of wat>

[Jamesypoo]

Of teh girl noob

[wasted ink]

She straightened my hair that day. It is gay as hell.. I knows. Here is a much more recent picture. I look teh youngs.

http://photos-a.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-snc1/v2335/165/34/21104976/n21104976_32480688_5367.jpg

I think the man on your right is siezuring.

[Jamesypoo]

He is. Perhaps I'll go in the room next to me and throw a shoe at him. See if I can get him goin again.

[wasted ink]

He is. Perhaps I'll go in the room next to me and throw a shoe at him. See if I can get him goin again.

Put a piece of wood in his mouth :fyi:

Not your cawk, he will bite it off :fyi:

[Spider Monkey]

Of teh girl noob

I have to see her first yo. It was jsut that one time so far. All of their windows are covered so I can't go peeping tom on her ass.

[Jamesypoo]

I'm beginning to wonder if you're even a spider monkey at all :(

[Spider Monkey]

Question not.

[hoss]

Any pics yet?

[Spider Monkey]

I have not seen her since. I did see a guy working in the back yard though. She must be married. This will be trickier than I thought.

[Mr. Shickadance]

or perhaps his daughter

[Spider Monkey]

Naw, they are both my ageish.

[Mr. Shickadance]

monkey, what ageish would that be?

[Spider Monkey]

monkey, what ageish would that be?


Old enough to be an adult, but young enough to not act like it. I got decades yo.

[Mr. Shickadance]

ahh

that was no help, get pics get pics get pics get pics of that hoe!

[IamDeMan]

Old enough to be an adult, but young enough to not act like it. I got decades yo.
Old enough to know better, young enough not to give a shit.

[Spider Monkey]

Old enough to know better, young enough not to give a shit.

Old enough to know fighting is wrong, young enough to pound your head in if you piss me off.

[IamDeMan]

Old enough to know fighting is wrong, young enough to pound your head in if you piss me off.

Old enough to feel the effects of an alcohol binge, young enough to put down a fifth of vodka in a night.

[Spider Monkey]

Old enough to feel the effects of an alcohol binge, young enough to put down a fifth of vodka in a night.

ROFFLES. That one brought the LOLS IRL.


Old enough to know that speeding is wrong, young enough to still think cops can be outrun.

[hoss]

Old enough to not have to pay for sex, young enough to still pay for it/

?

[Spider Monkey]

Old enough to not have to pay for sex, young enough to still pay for it/

?

Ageless FTW?

[IamDeMan]

ROFFLES. That one brought the LOLS IRL.


Old enough to know that speeding is wrong, young enough to still think cops can be outrun.

Why outrun them? They can't follow you off road :fyi:

[Spider Monkey]

Why outrun them? They can't follow you off road :fyi:

Which brings up another one.

Old enough to know that owning a Jeep is impractical, young enough to still do it.

[hoss]

Old enough to require a 4 door car, young enough to sneak around the rules and buy a 4 door sports car?

[Phantom240]

Haha! You're a sneaky jew! The only real 4 door sports car is an Evo!

[hoss]

Haha! You're a sneaky jew! The only real 4 door sports car is an Evo!

Lies, a lancer is not a sports car, it is a sedan.

[hoss]

And I am quite blatant, and not yet jewish.

[hoss]

And if that were the case, there would be a whole slew of "4 door sports cars". There is a huge bold line that draws the difference between a sports car and a fast sedan.

In an interesting twist though, Hyundai has a car that DOES fit both categories...

[Phantom240]

And if that were the case, there would be a whole slew of "4 door sports cars". There is a huge bold line that draws the difference between a sports car and a fast sedan.

In an interesting twist though, Hyundai has a car that DOES fit both categories...

The "lancer" is just a sedan, the Evo is 4wd and turbo... and shit tons faster than most cars on the road, and have neck-snapping agility.

[Pop Da Hatch]

ANY Pics yet?

[Spider Monkey]

Most excelent bump. Apparently she has kids. Found out yesterday. She is now off the list.

Yes, there is nothing wrong with a MILF, I just don't want to even see their rat bastard children. Ruins everything.

[Jamesypoo]

:(





























3chars

[Pop Da Hatch]

I r still want at least one pic of this beetch.

[Spider Monkey]

I r still want at least one pic of this beetch.

Fine fuck. Gotta catch her outside still though.

[Jamesypoo]

You should try looking outside all hours of the day.

[Spider Monkey]

You should try looking outside all hours of the day.

Well I do smoke quite a bit when I'm home so the odds are good. The problem is that they never come outside. Hell, not a single window blind is open on their whole house. Been that way since I moved in.

They must be growing weed or something.

[Jamesypoo]

Or lots of sexing in all areas of the house.

[hoss]

Wheres the beef?

[hoss]

I mean pics...

[hoss]

Pics of her beef.

[Spider Monkey]

Roastbeef>?

[Pop Da Hatch]

yes offer her roastbeef.

[hoss]

No, throw raw beef at her, then be like ho spans, that clothes are dirtee, allow me to take them from you.

[Pop Da Hatch]

give her a dirty sanchez while making a hot pocket and drinking a 40 of colt 45.

[IDSkot]

She came over and we watched a movie in my bed. She just left. Weird. Anyways, I'm off to the bars. Keep it crunk.

We did not bone :fyi:

She wanted to. :fyi:


The Evo is a fast moving brick. It's not a sports car.
IS300 is a sports sedan.