Fuck me Spider Monkey.

[Jamesypoo]

Oh my fuck. I took 10+ shots at teh bars. Lil shawty from AZ came uop to vis t for the night. We drivin home... and I get pulled over for a wrong way on a one way. drunkS as fuck. I get out for sobriety test, and he tells me to walk 9 steps, turn around, and walk back. I fall on step number four. I fall on my ass. He tells me I pass and I'm good to go home. MY LICENSE IS FUCKING SUSPENDED. I'm so happ/yconfused. omy.

[Jamesypoo]

This i seasily the greatest day of my life.

[Jamesypoo]

She's almost done showering, shall read in teh morning.

[Jamesypoo]

ond'tye ll at me . I've learned my lesson.

[tapout]

:bash:

[97gp]

I've been waiting for this day:bj2:

[slim8605]

Drink+drive=no arrest? Good shit. Not too smart but lucky as hell. Did you blow him to get off?



Pics of AZ bish

[IamDeMan]

Fuck me.
Absolutely!

[Pootie]

Absolutely!

:buttrape:

[Captain Ahab]

James, chill out on the drinking and driving. I am sure you were drunk the night before when you texted me also..lol..

But congrats on getting out of a DUI.

[bluecar]

wos

[natisfynest]

ummmm congrats i guess

[Rashaddd]

dumbass

[hoss]

they are probably gonna come arrest and butt assault you today.

[tappin_azz]

they are probably gonna come arrest and butt assault you today.

that would be my guess. they are getting all the real nasties together as we speak. it wont be a good day for you.

[farmerehsan]

luckyyy ass mofo congrats

[Spider Monkey]

lies

[Spider Monkey]

Picture of chick getting out of shower for proofs

[Jamesypoo]

Story is 100% truth. I'll type it out later, we is gettin teh foods.

[Spider Monkey]

No pix, no trooth.

[tappin_azz]

No pix, no trooth.

this

[Jamesypoo]

All I know is he told me I passed the dexterity test and I was free to go. Then he said, "be careful since you've been drinking." I nearly shat.

[tappin_azz]

correct me if i am wrong...

you were made to walk a line, stumbled and fell, thus knocking yourself unconscience. while youre out, the cop has his way with miss AZ. after the deed is done, you wake up and he tells you, your free to go. back at the house, miss AZ showers to wash off the cop semen.

close???

oh, and you fail to get pics due to massive hangover.

[Spider Monkey]

All I know is he told me I passed the dexterity test and I was free to go. Then he said, "be careful since you've been drinking." I nearly shat.

Cop must have been high.

Where is pix of broad?

[Jamesypoo]

Lulz. I did exaggerate falling on my ass, but here's how everything went down.



The girl that visits happened to be friends with one of the bartenders at the bar. Double cranberry vodkas and shots were being drank nonstop, everytime she'd pour someone a drink she also poured us one. We're leaving the bar and I see a cop following me because of my license plate lights. I decided I'd make a turn and see if he followed me. The road I turned on happened to be a one way street, and I was going the wrong way. He immediately pulls me over. He comes to the car and this is how the convo goes

Cop: Do you know why I stopped you?

Me: I accidentally turned the wrong one on a one way street?

Cop: Yes, that and your license plate lights are out. License and registration please

Cop: Where are you headed?

Me: Home

Cop: Where do you live?

Me: *Silence* (I forgot my address so I said my old address) 600 Sherwood Hills

Cop: You're headed the wrong direction

Me: We're stopping by a friend's house (very slurred)

Cop: How much have you had to drink??

Me: I had a couple beers at _____ and one at _____

Cop: Step out of the car


By this time, there are now two other cop cars pulling up for a grand total of three. All I can think about is my suspended license. He did the finger test and I kept fucking that up. I would catch myself looking at him instead of his finger. Next I was told to walk 9 steps toe to toe, turn around, and walk back. Halfway through I just fell completely off the line. I didn't fall to the ground, but I did stumble and fall off the line. Lastly he made me balance on one foot. He tells me to have a seat back in my car. The cop came back a few minutes later, gave us our licenses, and gave me a ticket for going the wrong way on a one way street.

He said, "You passed you're dexterity (sp?) test so I know you're good to drive. I know you've been drinking, just be careful and make sure you both get home ok"



I was in shock.

[Jamesypoo]

While I was in the car waiting for the cop to come back I also gave her my debit card and told her my pin so she could get bail money for me. I was 100% sure I was going to jail.. no doubt in my mind.

That night was a huge eye opener.

[wasted ink]

Damn. You're lucky, but still stupid :fyi:

My uncle was killed by a drunk driver, so i'm not a fan.

[Jamesypoo]

Damn. You're lucky, but still stupid :fyi:


I'm aware.

[Jamesypoo]

Cop must have been high.

Where is pix of broad?


Her and her sister are the middle two. She's the one with dark hair. Coolest chick evar.
http://photos-d.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v289/196/40/6829390/n6829390_44554643_8858.jpg

[Pop Da Hatch]

shit son, I should tell the story of how the bar around here doesnt like me tearing my shirt off on the dance floor and how I drove home drunk with no shirt on in -30 degree weather.

you are lucky you didnt go to jail, why arent you out getting smashed now. I think you have motivated me to go buy some 40s.

:wave:

[Pop Da Hatch]

I enjoy your story.

[tapout]

:thismakesmesad:

[Pop Da Hatch]

she looks cute too, but what do I know.

[Jamesypoo]

shit son, I should tell the story of how the bar around here doesnt like me tearing my shirt off on the dance floor and how I drove home drunk with no shirt on in -30 degree weather.

you are lucky you didnt go to jail, why arent you out getting smashed now. I think you have motivated me to go buy some 40s.

:wave:
I am suppose to go out, but I just don't feel like spending any more money. It is 2 of my friend's birthdays as well as free admission to some band with a girl I work with. Basically work sucked, tired of spending money, tired in general, and I have to work in the morning. I just feel like taking it easy tonight.
I enjoy your story.

:beerchug:

[tapout]

new smiley...

:flashdance:

[Jamesypoo]

My dream has finally come true :clap:

Alright, night fellas.

[wasted ink]

:wave:

[tapout]

My dream has finally come true :clap:

Alright, night fellas.
another....

:duh:

[Sex Cells]

Christ.

[farmerehsan]

nice story like the wemen too

[Jamesypoo]

:duh:

[Jamesypoo]

lul

[Jamesypoo]

:flashdance:

[tapout]

Party over?

[Jamesypoo]

Had to drive the bike home if I wanted to get my drink on. I'm going back over right now. :D

[wasted ink]

Had to drive the bike home if I wanted to get my drink on. I'm going back over right now. :D

Wise choice.

[Spider Monkey]

Her and her sister are the middle two. She's the one with dark hair. Coolest chick evar.
http://photos-d.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v289/196/40/6829390/n6829390_44554643_8858.jpg

Can I have her number?>

[Jamesypoo]

She'll get you out of a DUI

[tappin_azz]

She'll get you out of a DUI

if so then i need her # too.

[Spider Monkey]

She'll get you out of a DUI

I'll take the DUI if she'll take my population pollen.

[Jamesypoo]

Sounds like a very expensive ejaculation.

[Spider Monkey]

It will show her how much I care for her.

[Sex Cells]

You're dating Jenifer Anistons' sister?

[Jamesypoo]

I am dating no one

[Jamesypoo]

Whoa, she does look the part

[Porch Monkey]

$20?

[Jamesypoo]

http://www.neowin.net/forum/fun/thread_wont_die.jpg

[bunkerking09]

lawlz...

fuck her

[Spider Monkey]

You're dating Jenifer Anistons' sister?

He doesn't date. He brings chicks home to get in bed and fall asleep with.

[Jamesypoo]

It beats a body pillow

[Spider Monkey]

Interesting. Is that more personal than a regular pillow?

[Jamesypoo]

http://www.furniturestoreblog.com/images/BODY%20PILLOW.jpg

[Jamesypoo]

Oh, I see what you did.

[Spider Monkey]

Does she come with it?