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Captain Ahab
02-15-2010, 12:06 PM
The following story is 100% true to the best of my knowledge. I was quite intoxicated near the end so am not quite sure of every exact detail as the night progressed.

It all started when this chick messaged me on POF with the screen name titties12345. She lived about 2 hours away, or about 30 minutes from my home town/parent's house.
http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/294/vgjkgmk.jpg (http://img59.imageshack.us/i/vgjkgmk.jpg/)
http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/8587/ldde1152e4576452d8f0abb.jpg (http://img693.imageshack.us/i/ldde1152e4576452d8f0abb.jpg/)
http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/6935/n1286520039301096444518.jpg (http://img697.imageshack.us/i/n1286520039301096444518.jpg/)


I figured she was somewhat of a slut with "titties" in her screen name. I knew she was gonna be a fairly large girl as she informed me she had 42DD tits. My goal then become to get her to drive the 2 hours here. I knew if she saw me she'd stay the night, and if a girl drives 2 hours to stay the night sex SHOULD always be involved.

Well one September Tuesday evening she confirmed she would come see me on a Thursday night and bring a friend. That same night Girltalk

http://www.myspace.com/girltalk

was having a concert on campus. I told her we were going to see Girl Talk and they'd have to buy tickets if they wanted to come. She agreed so I purchased her and her friend tickets.

Also on POF i had saw a profile named ASS12345 from the same town as titties12345. I figured they knew each other. I joked with my room mate saying ASS was probably her friend coming. ASS AND TITTIES, ASS AND TITTIES was pretty much on repeat on our stereo system throughout the week until they arrived.

Here is the pic she sent me of her friend.
http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/2626/jpegv.jpg (http://img692.imageshack.us/i/jpegv.jpg/)

Grinch looking mother fucker. But titties told me she was bisexual so I thought WTH, may get my first 3some action?

Here is another pic I just dig up.
http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/3082/ripleydating54919186.jpg (http://img694.imageshack.us/i/ripleydating54919186.jpg/)





Well Thursday finally arrives and the girls are supposed to arrive around 6:00. I knew i'd have to be drunk before I went out with these girls in public at a campus concert. My roomie and I agree to start some beer pong at 4:00 so we go and buy a 30 pack of Miller High Life at the ripe price of $14.00.

Here is a pic of our beer pong setup. It is in my weight room which is an extra room built on to the house. Has the stereo in it and all that stuff. (Plus, I had to prove there has been a decent looking chick in the house)

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m122/deerhunt1988/SS850506-1.jpg
http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m122/deerhunt1988/SS850534-1.jpg


Well in anticipation of the chicks arriving, two friends of mine came over to see their arrival. The chicks arrive 30 minutes late at 6:30 and step out. I was good and lit so of course she was fuckable. Her friend's grinchness became even more apparent. That forehead on her was a sight to behold. Thoughts of her bisexualness soon clouded my head once again.

The concert is 8:00 so we just have a little bit of time for them to pre-game. Well the grinch says she doesn't drink beer. I then have to make a run to the liquor store to get her some UV Blueberry Vodka. (This very bottle :fyi:)

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m122/deerhunt1988/SS850046-1.jpg

And while I'm at it I decided to take a picture of our current liquor reserve.
http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m122/deerhunt1988/SS850047-3.jpg


Anyways, we start playing pong. The grinch is drinking a mixed drink, my room mate is drinking the cups the grinch is supposed to drink. In just 45 minutes my girl is good and lit. I take a sip of the grinch's drink and its weak as shit. She is a tiny girl but geeeeeeeez.

Its time to leave for the concert and I'm sure as hell not driving. All I did was have to mention it and my fatty hops at the option to be the driver. Me and my roomie took 3 bottled shots of cuervo with us that we bought at the liqour store.

We get to the concert and hot bitches are EVERYWHERE. I mean every sorority girl on campus seemed to be there. And here we are with two misfits that don't even go to school here. Only one option. SHOTS! We go in the bathroom to piss and take a shot and see two cops in there. A guy was literally passed out drunk in a stall with the door shot. One of the cops had to climb under the door and unlock it to get the drunk out. We had a few laughs with the cops at the noob's expense and headed out to meet the girls.

Well the concert ended up sucking. The grinch gets all emotional and bails out to the car before the concert is half over. Couldn't figure out WTF was going on with her. In the mean time my room mate is stoned out of his mind not being crunk at all like me. My girl is grinding all up on me, booty dancing and shit. It was wild. I sick her on my roomie and he just sits there. BLAH.

The concert ends and we head home. Then the grinch gets all EMO on us. She is telling my bitch to take her home, shes calling the cops if she doesn't, etc, etc. She calls her mom and tells her they are at some stranger's house and her friend won't take her home. I got tired of dealing with the shit and told her to call the fucking cops. What are they gonna do? Come pick her up and take her home? I finally told the emo bitch I had an extra room she could go lock herself in. And thats what she ended up doing.

CRUSHED THREESOME DREAMS!

So we proceed to pong once again as more people arrive to check out my awesome catch. The girls on our co-ed flag football were disgusted at my bitch. I tried explaining she drove 2 hours to fuck me and in return I got "nathan, this is the nastiest girl you have ever had".
:shrug:

We then play a game of "strip pong". Loser takes off shirt. We lost, my bitch straight up takes her top and bra off and runs and jumps in the pool. At this point the other chicks are laughing their ass off, making fun of her behind her back. I take ol' girl back to my room and she hugs me still topless. I tell her not to start something if she can't finish it and in less than 2 minutes, BLOP BLOP BLOP BLOP BLOP BLOP BLOP!!!!!!!

TORE THAT SHIT UPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! TITTY FUCKED THOSE GIANT 42DDs!!!!!!!! WOOT!

We finish up, go back out and everyone knows we fucked. A few more games of pong ensue when we agree the loser has to go butt naked in the pool. We lost again. Now keep in mind its probably 50 degrees outside and the pool water is PRETTY DAMN COLD. We keep our end of the deal, get butt naked, and bomb the pool. Literally, bomb. It was like a bomb went off when 380lbs hit the water at the same time. Then my balls went into my stomach after the realization of how cold the water was hit me.

A few girls saw my dick that never had before but they didn't complain so I guess thats good.

More drinks, then my room again. I literally lost count of the number of times I fucked her that night. I had teh whiskey dick and couldn't get off.

I woke up at like 7:00 AM and she was beside me butt ass naked. WTF I thought and started rubbing her pussy. She woke up and we fucked again but I STILL didn't get off. Went back to sleep and woke up at 9:00. Fucked her AGAIN and finally got off. She said something like" Your a horndog aren't ya?" I tell her yea and ask her if thats a problem. She said she loved it and wanted to come back and do it all again. :fyi:

When getting ready for class I pick up 4, YES, FOUR used condoms. Only 1 had any nut in it. I faintly remember going without a condom the last time we fucked that night and cumming on her stomach. She was on BC thank god.

Best I can remember, we probably fucked 6 times within 14 hours of meeting each other.

The bisexual grinch ended up staying locked in the extra room til the next morning. She apologized to me and I didn't listen. I was still euphoric from massive amounts of sex. For a bigger girl, she had a fairly tight pussy and LOVED to fuck.

Tits tells me she will be back.

To this day she hasn't. She tried coming back but I kept saying I was busy, etc. Then when I am finally feaning for a fuck marathon weekend and try to get her down she tells me she has a boyfriend.












I hope you enjoyed my fatty fuck fest story.

jmanpc
02-15-2010, 12:14 PM
Nathan loves the fatties.

Porch Monkey
02-15-2010, 12:15 PM
no beached whale shots?

jmanpc
02-15-2010, 12:16 PM
Omg dat forehead. Looks like this:

http://www.mediabistro.com/agencyspy/original/beavis.jpg

atoz350
02-15-2010, 12:18 PM
If you end up fucking the grinch, you must nut on her forehead. There's plenty of room, so you won't miss.

Porch Monkey
02-15-2010, 12:19 PM
write your name on it, or CT

tommyk90
02-15-2010, 12:19 PM
Great story. Rep for j00.

Porch Monkey
02-15-2010, 12:23 PM
I love Bailey's! It's good on anything! I even put it in my cherrio's one time. lol Very good on ice cream also.

Sex Cells
02-15-2010, 12:26 PM
im sick

Twistedchild420
02-15-2010, 12:27 PM
tl;..............yet i did read some! Good story! +1

_AnGeL_
02-15-2010, 12:29 PM
im sick

.

Toasted1
02-15-2010, 12:31 PM
Jesussssss :rofl: Deerhunt puts in work yet again!! :rofl::bowrofl:

From all the PoF threads I have read it seems like there are only fatties to slay and single moms with mulatto babies on there :PoF: :laugh:

Captain Ahab
02-15-2010, 12:36 PM
I love Bailey's! It's good on anything! I even put it in my cherrio's one time. lol Very good on ice cream also.
CHERRIOS? LMAO

i bet it is good on ice cream

Jesussssss :rofl: Deerhunt puts in work yet again!! :rofl::bowrofl:

From all the PoF threads I have read it seems like there are only fatties to slay and single moms with mulatto babies on there :PoF: :laugh:

Tons of fatties and single moms.

Seems like all the good looking normal girls are in Tuscaloosa going to Alabama instead of here.

dcmcki
02-15-2010, 12:40 PM
Capt Ahab harpooning teh whales. lulz +1

slim8605
02-15-2010, 12:46 PM
Nice. I'd let her suck. Tits are tits.

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 12:46 PM
LOLYA BRO!

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 12:49 PM
Want sum o mine?


http://i50.tinypic.com/2vt4743.jpg

Glock17
02-15-2010, 01:07 PM
3/4 ton chicks, lol

SiZcO
02-15-2010, 01:18 PM
fucked 6 times and have no pictures? WTF.

Captain Ahab
02-15-2010, 01:37 PM
Brah, when I'm drunk and in the zone the last thing on my mind is pictures.

Porch Monkey
02-15-2010, 01:38 PM
http://cougarlife.com/

fanninator
02-15-2010, 01:40 PM
that story sounded like it should be a jamey johnson song...love it!

mackin
02-15-2010, 01:57 PM
lol. Why didn't you go after that normal sized girl in those beer pong pictures?

Porch Monkey
02-15-2010, 01:59 PM
because he's not normal

SiZcO
02-15-2010, 02:06 PM
Brah, when I'm drunk and in the zone the last thing on my mind is pictures.

i take pictures to look back and ask myself why i fucked that..

atoz350
02-15-2010, 02:07 PM
i take pictures to look back and ask myself why i fucked that..

That's probably why he doesn't take pictures.

Porch Monkey
02-15-2010, 02:08 PM
lol proof?

Captain Ahab
02-15-2010, 02:19 PM
lol. Why didn't you go after that normal sized girl in those beer pong pictures?

that was from a keg party we had this summer. She was talking to my best friend. He never even got to fuck her. At that time she had only been with one guy. Not the type of girls I want at my parties :fyi:

That's probably why he doesn't take pictures.

LOL

I do occasionally take pics

Captain Ahab
02-15-2010, 02:20 PM
If enough people are interested I may post the "Saga of the Starkville Stripper" next

_AnGeL_
02-15-2010, 02:21 PM
do eet.

Captain Ahab
02-15-2010, 02:33 PM
http://cougarlife.com/

Only a few within 1 1/2 hours.

slim8605
02-15-2010, 02:45 PM
Interested..

joeboxer5876
02-15-2010, 03:23 PM
awesome story! exactly what i would expect out of you! i think you can find bigger though. next time we want pics of the pof girls. :grin3:

mackin
02-15-2010, 03:58 PM
can't help but laugh at the tags as well. :thumbsup:

J31Bro
02-15-2010, 05:31 PM
im sick

BLOP BLOP BLOP

:fufu:

mrogowski
02-15-2010, 07:28 PM
good for you nathan, always thinking with your dick. you should have snuck into that emo's room for some knife cutting fun.

reps for you.

mrogowski
02-15-2010, 07:29 PM
whats with this faggy rep system? says i gotta spread it around...

atoz350
02-15-2010, 08:00 PM
He does have a point. If you got the emo close enough to the headboard, you could've probably pounded her head down to a normal size.

Porch Monkey
02-15-2010, 08:03 PM
it would've just bounced and hurt himself

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 08:04 PM
Someone type out a message in the next 5 minutes and I'll send it to one of the fuglies that messaged me. Message in post #44 wins. No shit that will get me arrested.

Pop Da Hatch
02-15-2010, 08:06 PM
.....

statonburrell
02-15-2010, 08:06 PM
....

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 08:07 PM
i'll provide screen caps.

statonburrell
02-15-2010, 08:07 PM
im gonna love you like a snowstorm.. im gonna give you 8-10 inches and you're not gonna be able to leave the house for 3 days

Pop Da Hatch
02-15-2010, 08:08 PM
+ you wont shit right for a week when Im done with you, you worthless cock sucker.

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 08:10 PM
now pick a number between 1 and 20

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 08:10 PM
whoa. 1 and 30.

Pop Da Hatch
02-15-2010, 08:11 PM
13.

statonburrell
02-15-2010, 08:11 PM
17

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 08:15 PM
pof server too busy. please hold.

Pop Da Hatch
02-15-2010, 08:16 PM
have a pic of the :broad:?

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 08:25 PM
http://i50.tinypic.com/33th0qp.jpg

tapout
02-15-2010, 08:26 PM
Show her you like it like this...

http://hostthenpost.com/uploads/62984ee1661a0807c87d6b4cf3a990da.gif

Sex Cells
02-15-2010, 08:27 PM
im too afraid to send shit like that for fear of seeing the person in public

Pop Da Hatch
02-15-2010, 08:28 PM
holy ouch.

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 08:29 PM
Show her you like it like this...

http://hostthenpost.com/uploads/62984ee1661a0807c87d6b4cf3a990da.gif
THE FUCK
im too afraid to send shit like that for fear of seeing the person in public
She should have known better than to try and communicate with a mass of man such as myself.

statonburrell
02-15-2010, 08:29 PM
i cant see what jamesey posted

statonburrell
02-15-2010, 08:30 PM
nvm im an idiot... just had to click the tab

statonburrell
02-15-2010, 08:31 PM
Show her you like it like this...

http://hostthenpost.com/uploads/62984ee1661a0807c87d6b4cf3a990da.gif

daaaaaaamn

mrogowski
02-15-2010, 08:33 PM
Plenty of Fish...?

It should be called Plenty of Fatties

fbi90909
02-15-2010, 08:33 PM
win

Sex Cells
02-15-2010, 08:34 PM
WHAT THEEE FUCKKK

dcmcki
02-15-2010, 08:43 PM
Moar......

Captain Ahab
02-15-2010, 09:07 PM
http://i50.tinypic.com/33th0qp.jpg
:hilarious::hilarious::hilarious:

I got 2 of my accounts deleted. Only got my real one left.
I made a fake female account to troll my friend who joined it after his girl broke up with him. I was a bit mean to some of the guys messaging me and got a warning about harassment and multiple accounts. Next time I try to log in 2 out of 3 accounts are gone. lol

Show her you like it like this...

http://hostthenpost.com/uploads/62984ee1661a0807c87d6b4cf3a990da.gif
:help:

OUCHHHHHHH
Plenty of Fish...?

It should be called Plenty of Fatties
or plenty of fucks
or plenty of fun
or plenty of food

atoz350
02-15-2010, 09:38 PM
I joined it to see what these fatties were about. After seeing titles like "I'm ready to jump in the pool!!" I'm thinking, fish don't fucking swim in pools you fucking idiot...next!

Pop Da Hatch
02-15-2010, 09:49 PM
I joined it to see what these fatties were about. After seeing titles like "I'm ready to jump in the pool!!" I'm thinking, fish don't fucking swim in pools you fucking idiot...next!

inorite :troll:

Captain Ahab
02-15-2010, 09:55 PM
WRONG!

We had a kiddy pool we kept goldfish in. Bait for catfishing.

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 09:56 PM
You wouldn't know a pimp ass profile if it spanked your balls. Maybe I'll show you mine. Maybe.

Jamesypoo
02-15-2010, 09:57 PM
or punched your balls with a vengeance.

atoz350
02-15-2010, 11:26 PM
WRONG!

We had a kiddy pool we kept goldfish in. Bait for catfishing.

Fuck, a mental thought of one of your fatties in a kiddie pool crept right into my head. Fucking scarred for life. :crap:

natisfynest
02-16-2010, 01:12 PM
....

natisfynest
02-16-2010, 01:23 PM
WTF is this bullshit
http://www.ipixelspot.com/files/239/respond.bmp

No shit they are most likely to respond look at them all

mrogowski
02-16-2010, 01:27 PM
they would be ready to eat you

smd4life
02-16-2010, 05:17 PM
looks like a fairly nice ass in the pic...as long as you keep her turned one way she's good to go

Captain Ahab
03-05-2010, 09:07 PM
epic POF tonight

kurnlesbiskuits
03-05-2010, 09:33 PM
I like what I read.

Repped.

Toasted1
03-05-2010, 10:53 PM
like 1/4 ton epic?