ever been caught jerkin it? tell us your story

[darthvibrator]

i was like 15 or so, watching scrambled porn (you know, it was all green and shit and every so often you actually saw a titty). it was pretty late and i thought every one was sleeping. the volume was way down and i was just fapping away. then all of a sudden my sister comes in (this was in the living room, being young and dumb FTL) and catches me, and then plays off like she didnt see anything and says "you should be in bed". i fucking turned like ice cold when i got caught and i just yelled in a cracking voice "i know!".

the next day we had to go for a long trip with my family. i had my jacked on with my hood over my head the whole day. embarrassed as FUCK!

so, tell me your story.

[Porch Monkey]

nope

[mtlhead]

im pretty sure I had someone else jerking me when i was 15

[Roadtrippin']

I was at a family reunion when my smoking hot cousin walked in. Everyone was pretty distracted since we just started eating and I figured no one would notice if I didn't go crazy. Still, I was pretty wound up so when my grandma's Shitzu licked my toe I jumped up and it was all over.

I think a lot of people understood though, my cousin had just came back from Marine Basic and he looked soooooo good in his uniform.

[Captain Ahab]

Umm.....Nope...but came close a few times...

Used to wank it when I was in middle school when I got home from school...Our computer was in the living room and I'd always sort of watch the road in case my parents or brother came home early for some reason. A time or two I'd miss seeing them pull in, but heard them so it was all okay.. However, one time someone opened the door after I didn't hear them pull up. I am talking about just 2 corners, 1 room, 15 foot away. Somehow I manage to exit out the porn, and zip my pants up in all one smooth motion. Man that was close.

[Uncle Rico]

Middle school was crazy times.

[Uncle Rico]

I never got caught fapping. But my pron stash was found numerous times in middle school.

[darthvibrator]

im starting to think i was younger than 15, but whatever. i honestly dont remember the age. i just kind of make it up as i go along. ill say i was probably between like 10-14. i think.

[Toasted1]

Never been caught but I do on a weekly basis violently stroke myself in the middle of the bed and start getting a good motion and squeak going with the bed until my wife gets up and offers me the sex or takes her pillow and goes to the couch :laugh:

[mtlhead]

Never been caught but I do on a weekly basis violently stroke myself in the middle of the bed and start getting a good motion and squeak going with the bed until my wife gets up and offers me the sex or takes her pillow and goes to the couch :laugh:

lol, either way you win

[Toasted1]

I also did jerk off out in the woods when I was about 13 at the top of this mountain right up top and all of a sudden a couple of dirtbikes came up and I know they saw me standing up there but I think I had the snausage put away before they realized what I was doing.

Also if you have never I suggest whacking it at the top of a mountain with your pants around your ankles and lettings the cool summer breeze whiz across your ballsack. It really intensifies the moment.

[darthvibrator]

although im positive you're just fucking around, i did lol

[tapout]

24 times atleast. 20 on purpose.

[Toasted1]

although im positive you're just fucking around, i did lol

haha nope honestly I was a heavy jerker and there are not many places I have not spanked it.

[darthvibrator]

haha nope honestly I was a heavy jerker and there are not many places I have not spanked it.

hahah shit is tight son

[tapout]

haha nope honestly I was a heavy jerker and there are not many places I have not spanked it.

this.

[Uncle Rico]

haha nope honestly I was a heavy jerker and there are not many places I have not spanked it.

:laugh:

[Toasted1]

You know your a serious jerker when you are flying to florida for your grandparents 60th wedding anniversary and during your flight you are ready to go spank it while thinking about one of the hot flight attendants and you get all pissy and start sopping an attitude out of the blue when the pilot turns on the seatbelt sign due to turbulance :(

[darthvibrator]

You know your a serious jerker when you are flying to florida for your grandparents 60th wedding anniversary and during your flight you are ready to go spank it while thinking about one of the hot flight attendants and you get all pissy and start sopping an attitude out of the blue when the pilot turns on the seatbelt sign due to turbulance :(

i had a friend that used to spank it 3 times a day

[Captain Ahab]

I also did jerk off out in the woods when I was about 13 at the top of this mountain right up top and all of a sudden a couple of dirtbikes came up and I know they saw me standing up there but I think I had the snausage put away before they realized what I was doing.

Also if you have never I suggest whacking it at the top of a mountain with your pants around your ankles and lettings the cool summer breeze whiz across your ballsack. It really intensifies the moment.

I do it all the time in the cold while deer hunting. Turkey hunting doesn't allow for the movement/nor the longgggggg hours on stand.

[Uncle Rico]

i had a friend that used to spank it 3 times a day

Is that supposed to be alot.

[bluecar]

I am really not in the right crowd...

Twice a month or so...

But I didn't do it the first time until I was 16 or so.

[Uncle Rico]

I am really not in the right crowd...

Twice a month or so...

But I didn't do it the first time until I was 16 or so.

Thats ridiculous.

[Roadtrippin']

I am really not in the right crowd...

Twice a month or so...

But I didn't do it the first time until I was 16 or so.

What, were you afraid of rejection?

[bluecar]

Thats ridiculous.

What is ridiculous?

What, were you afraid of rejection?

I will splain in another thread if you are interested.

[darthvibrator]

dude how can you call yourself crunk, when you didnt even start spanking it until you were 16?

[Uncle Rico]

What is ridiculous?



I will splain in another thread if you are interested.

The fact that you started fapping at 16.


Shit I started so long ago that I cant even remember what age I was.

[bluecar]

dude how can you call yourself crunk, when you didnt even start spanking it until you were 16?

Just wasn't and still isn't my style.

[Uncle Rico]

Wow

[Slammed]

yep...then she joined in

[Slammed]

takes alot for me to fap


:fyi:

[Toasted1]

I don't remember how old I was but I know it was elementary school and not sixth grade so I think 4th or 5th.

[tommyk90]

Been close, but never caught.

[tapout]

Last night my wife came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on.

There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons.

I don't really don't know what else to say.

[tapout]

So I am 21 and my little sister is only 11. Anyways she gets in the shower and a little while later gets out and goes into her room to dress.

Like 3 seconds later she starts screaming and I am working out in my room doing my third rep of chest curls, so I have no shirt on. I immediatly drop my 50 lb weights and barge in and ask her what the fuck is wrong with her and she points up at the ceiling and its just a little stupid spider on the ceiling. Our ceiling is kind of high so I have to jump to get it. So i grab a magazine and jump up to swat it. and I hit it a little but it falls and lands right on my fucking sisters head.

she immideatly drops her towel and starts swatting at her head screaming "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF" I notice it crawling down her back and it is still alive I drop the magazine because it wasnt working so well and i grab her shoulder with one hand to get control of her because she is flailing around like a maniac and then I am swatting at it with my only other free hand. and just then my parents burst in and see her naked and me in just my fucking shorts spanking her rearend while she is crying her fucking guts out.

Most fucking embarassing day of my life. I tried to explain to them i was like "guys oh no wait there was a spider there was spider and stuff". and my little sister was still crying her guts oout and my dad just exploded and told me to "get in your fucking room immediatly you sick fucking bastard". It doesnt help that a couple months ago they found a pair of her undies on my floor. I dont know how they got there but probably were stuck in my pants after mom did laundry or something.

i really feel like killing myself right now

[tapout]

I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home. It was awkward and I regret it.

[IDSkot]

The closest that's happened was I was watching teh pron, jerkin' it, but my chair was angled slightly 'cause when I jerk it I like to put my feet on my sub (which is under my desk), and my brother walked in, but I reacted really quick, put my penz0rz away and opened a Google SketchUp Project. He had no idea.

[joetama]

So I am 21 and my little sister is only 11. Anyways she gets in the shower and a little while later gets out and goes into her room to dress.

Like 3 seconds later she starts screaming and I am working out in my room doing my third rep of chest curls, so I have no shirt on. I immediatly drop my 50 lb weights and barge in and ask her what the fuck is wrong with her and she points up at the ceiling and its just a little stupid spider on the ceiling. Our ceiling is kind of high so I have to jump to get it. So i grab a magazine and jump up to swat it. and I hit it a little but it falls and lands right on my fucking sisters head.

she immideatly drops her towel and starts swatting at her head screaming "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF" I notice it crawling down her back and it is still alive I drop the magazine because it wasnt working so well and i grab her shoulder with one hand to get control of her because she is flailing around like a maniac and then I am swatting at it with my only other free hand. and just then my parents burst in and see her naked and me in just my fucking shorts spanking her rearend while she is crying her fucking guts out.

Most fucking embarassing day of my life. I tried to explain to them i was like "guys oh no wait there was a spider there was spider and stuff". and my little sister was still crying her guts oout and my dad just exploded and told me to "get in your fucking room immediatly you sick fucking bastard". It doesnt help that a couple months ago they found a pair of her undies on my floor. I dont know how they got there but probably were stuck in my pants after mom did laundry or something.

i really feel like killing myself right now

Wow no shit? :bad:

[Mr. Shickadance]

I was probably around 14, my brother was gone and my parents were out for dinner. Chilled for a little while, got bored, and decided to fap. This wasn't going to be any ordinary fap though, I was going all out. So I had like 5 seperate windows downloading porn all at once, got some lotion to use as lube, had tissues right next to the computer and stripped down.

Well this was back in the days of slow interwebs, so while the movies were downloading I decided to look at pictures until the movies were done. So the vids take like 30 minutes to finish and by the time they are done I'm ready to fucking roll. I put on my bigass noise muffling headphones, and get my fap on. So right as i'm about to splooge I grab the tissues (note both hands are occupied, and i have multiple porn windows open) my parents BURST into the house!

By the time I realize the door is being opened I've still got my jeans and underwear at my ankles so its too late to pull up and close and I can't run like this so I flip the monitor off, dive behind the couch and blow it all over my tshirt. Tried to sneak away to my room, but parents questioned why I was sweaty without a shirt on. I couldn't think straight so I really didn't have an answer for them. FML

[John3000]

The wife caught me once, late night and though she was out cold so I get a good fap going on and she walks in. I lean forward in my chair and try to stuff the meat pole away and she walks out of the room............awkward moment. :fp: